Saturday, 12 March 2016

Impatience

an impatient dog waiting for his walk is very relevant to me right now

Anyone who knows me well could tell you how impatient I am. I can't wait for anything. I count down to Christmas from September and I can't handle when someone tells me "I have a surprise for you". When I was at school, I began feeling sick with nerves and impatience around a fortnight before my exam results were due. I just can't wait for things; good or bad.


As just about everyone I know is aware of, the next academic year for me (and my classmates) is such an important one. We're all jetting off to different areas of France, Spain and Italy to spend a year studying, working or interning and attempting to become more fluent in our language skills. 

Moving abroad is a huge step in life. How does one pack up their life in two suitcases and move it all to a country where no one understands what you're saying? As someone who stresses out about everything, it would seem sensible to make sure that everything is prepared early and that all details are organised so that nothing can possibly go wrong, right?

If only that were possible. I move abroad in less than six months and I have no idea what I'm doing.

The only thing I know so far is that I'll be spending the year in France, and that's a big place. It has an area of over 200,000 square miles. I have absolutely no idea where I will be within that large space. I have absolutely no idea if I'll be working, teaching or studying. I have absolutely no idea when I will have to move and when I'll be able to come home.

All of the above is catastrophic for someone as impatient as I am.

I applied for my first choice in December and I could be waiting until August (insert horrified emoji) to find out the exact details, but I'm still checking my emails every day. For such a large step in life, absolutely nothing is organised and that drives absolute fear into me.

And when I finally have a clue what's going on, I will have to wait until I actually arrive in France to find a flat, open a bank account and all of the other things that the stresser inside of me would really like to have organised before Christmas.

I'm trying to remain positive. No news is good news and if nothing else, this unbearable wait for news is the best preparation for the abysmal French administration system.

I'll just keep refreshing my emails, looking at flats with pretty river views and hopefully, my impatience to find out anything regarding my year abroad won't send me crazy in the mean time.